On girly gay Americans

By Anči

 What's that German word that has to do with taking pleasure in somebody else's misery... schadenfreude? (You can always count on the Germans to provide the world with appropriately sadistic terminology.)

Anyway I've been experiencing a little bit of that ever since I caught wind of this latest military scandal. I don't want to make people uncomfortable, because I realize how sensitive these things are... So well, it has to do with the Marines oppressing one specific gender with a culture of brutality. You probably know which controversy I'm talking about. Ok good, let's say it together on three:

one, two-  OBAMA IS MAKING THE MARINES WEAR FRILLY BONNETS!!

And I have literally never been happier.
 La la la la la...

 The official Marine reaction thus far, has  looked a bit more like this:

but I don't want to be a girl!

On the one hand, you can see where they're coming from: Take it from a senior marine. According to him, “The Marines deserve better. It makes them look ridiculous.”  Yes new hats will make the marines look ridiculous.  Up until now, you guys have been a beacon of dignity.

nothing about this seems absurd.

But out of curiosity, sir, what specifically makes the hats so offensive? Well apparently it's that they're "women's hats."

Women's hats?!! That sounds horrible! I imagine this means they're covered in tampons, or gosh, maybe they come equipped with an estrogen dispenser. Wait, no? Okay.. are the hats decorated with suggestively "blooming" flowers?  Are they branded with "Hello Kitty" insignia?  No? None of those things? What's the problem then? 
Turns out one of the issues plaguing our national headgear is that it looks "more French than American." And everyone knows the french are super queer.

Thanks a lot, Obama.

Stop Telling Women to Smile!

By Anči

I'd love to see someone tell this this lady to smile.

Just want to alert you all to a fantastic street art project called "Stop Telling Women to Smile" which aims to challenge one of the most predictable male-responses to contact with an unamused woman. That's right. We've all been on the receiving end of an unsolicited appeal to "smile." (Particularly those of us afflicted with resting bitch face syndrome.)

the original bitch face.

For some reason society has deemed it unacceptable for women to express anything other than  unbridled enthusiasm, when encroaching on a dude's line of vision. Reasons for this presumably include the inevitable disintegration of every bro-ego in the offending dame's proximity.... resulting in a "white male tantrum"-- the likes of which recently caused a government shutdown.
If you think about it though, it makes sense. If babes are going to take up space, it should be for the benefit of the surrounding boners: whether we're at school, at work, or at lunch.

You're right, this does feel more natural

 Actually scratch that. It makes no sense. In fact, it's that kind of attitude which often amounts to gendered-abuses like street harassment. (most "benevolently" manifested through dude nation's  cross-continental crusade to limit womanity's range of facial expressions to a generous:  happy, sympathetic, and horny. )

These public displays of male entitlement would be infuriating enough, without invoking the olde Patriarchal edict to "smile while female." For those of you not in the know, I am referring to the international "smiling dude-cree" supported and enforced by the babe-police. (otherwise known as "random-creeps-on-the-street.") Because apparently it's not enough that we're systematically surveyed for signs of sluttiness? (alliteration!) Or that the sanctity of our uteruses is routinely challenged, in an endless string of political plays? (See what I did there? Re-appropriating anti-choice language is my feminist super power)

Thankfully though, women like Tatyana Fazlalizadeh exist, to pioneer kickass campaigns like "Stop Telling Women to Smile." If it weren't for her, I'd probably be working on that other blog post i've been putting off. More importantly, womanity would be one movement-builder short of a teeming cooperative. (Just kidding. There's already more of us than the Manosphere can handle.)


That's all for now. Be sure to check out Tatyana's site, and spread the word.

Review: American Horror Story Coven: A festival of teething vaginas.

By Anči

not sure what's going on here, but the dismembered legs are definitely creepy.

This article marks the first edition of my "Women and horror" series.
I started putting this piece together after watching the premiere  episode of American Horror Story: Coven; aptly titled "Bitchcraft." (Though, I think we all agree that "A Festival of Teething Vaginas" makes infinitely more sense.)
Anyway,  I got distracted, and forgot I was planning on reviewing the season 3 opener, so here I am three weeks later, catching up:

BRIEF INTRO: The pilot opens on New Orleans 1834, in the luxurious estate of Delphine LaLaurie, a deceptively maternal and bloodthirstily psychotic slave owner, obsessed with power and beauty. In one of the first scenes, we see her applying blood to her face, in some creepy attempt at recapturing youth, or... perhaps recalling her long-lost period. 

Turns out the blood she's been slathering on her skin, comes from the group of African slaves, she's holding captive in her basement, for the purposes of... evildoing and unpleasantness (We're fed a glimpse of this, after Delphine banishes a handsome young slave to her torture chamber, for having consensual sex with her pretty white daughter.)

So far, we're off to a great start.

The story then advances a couple centuries, to present day, where we are met with a young couple in the throes of doing it. (presumably for the first time.)  And  because this is a horror show, we can guess how this scene will play out. (Hint: not with two satisfied sighs, after a mutually fulfilling flurry of fistings.) Turns out, the fornicating protagonist,  Zoe, has been afflicted with a particular brand of vagina dentata,  wherein her amorous passions propel her sex-buddy into a bloody seizure, culminating in his violent, and disgusting death. Oh and, Zoe's also a witch; which she discovers soon thereafter. (although the murderous hoohah should have been a giveaway.)

Cut to a scene of Zoe boarding a train, on her way to witch school...  where I guess the bulk of the storyline is supposed to take place. [In the background, creepy music signals oncoming doom.]

At the academy, she meets a group of fellow students: Nan, Queenie, and the beautiful Madison-- who is also a movie star. (Portrayed by Julia Roberts' look alike niece, Emma Roberts.)
Additional  players also include, headmistress Cordelia Foxx, and her mother, the "Supreme Witch" Fiona Goode, who's introductory scene echoes that of her slave-carving predecessor's, Delphine LaLaurie, from centuries before. (alzheimer patients: see first paragraph. Then send me that overdue birthday present. And this time include a receipt.)
Just like Delphine, the Supreme Witch Fiona is obsessed with youth and beauty. And just like Delphine, she resorts to torturing a man of color to attain it.
Only in this case, the man in question is a scientist,  who has been developing a formula to reverse the effects of aging. Naturally,  Fiona blackmails him into injecting her with this time-erasing serum, and when it doesn't work, she kills him.... by literally sucking the life force out of him, with a rousing tongue-kiss. (Turns out our saggy Supreme also has something in common with supernatural newbie Zoe, eh? Interesting how this particular genre associates destruction with women's sexualities.)

nothing phallic going on here.

But positioning female desire as a source of evil is nothing new-- in fact, it's a pretty hackneyed convention. And given this fact, you'd think the writer's would fork over something fresher, to justify their supernatural salmagundi. If not for the problematic nature of the original formula, then at least for the sake of quality television. Or maybe, out of respect for their viewers?
Also worth considering: Since genuine spookyness lies is in the unknown,  recycling tropes like the virgin/whore complex is the last thing a horror show wants to be doing. Predictability is the surest way to kill the mood. (in the genre, and in the shower.) How many times must the public be served with requisite killer vaginas before hollywood figures out that that shit is tired? Where are the screams? Where's the surprise? Booooring.

 And it gets 'better,' when the episode takes an awkward rapey turn. (awkward in terms of story flow. I'm not making light of rape. Please no letters. Unless they're taped to that birthday present you owe me, old man.)
In an abrupt change of pace, we cut back to Zoe (of deadly 'down there' fame) who goes to a party with her fellow school-witch Madison, (of Julia Roberts relation fame.)  A bunch of crazy shit ensues, beginning with a group of frat boys who spike Madison's drink, before systematically gang raping her-- in one of the most disturbing scenes I have ever illegally watched on my laptop.
Note however, that disturbing doesn't necessarily translate to compelling horror. As thrilling and gruesome as it is, the primary function of graphic imagery is to act as a flimsy substitute for content.  In this case, the effects play like the lazy byproduct of a  "buzzed" writer's room.. (Though I have no statistics to back that up.)  So....Still not impressed!

I did find the subsequent revenge scene very gratifying though: When a recovering/raging Madison,  uses the sorcery in her pinky to flip over the bus filled with her fleeing assailants--along with several of their innocent peers. Sad-face.

But that's when things get... complicated, and (for once,) much to the credit of the show writers:
Now Zoe (of the blossoming bear-trap) who witnessed the rape of her friend, is devastated to discover that one of the boys who perished in the enchanted bus-flipping, was a sweet guy she had met at the party. Her despair is further compounded by the reveal that the sole surviving member of the bus crash, was the ringleader of Madison's gang-rapists-- the mastermind who had deliberately deceived and drugged her, before violating her unconscious body.

If you remember from seven sentences ago, Zoe's magical curse is her toxic temple, which turns out to be useful here:  Yes, that's right: In a fit of righteous anger,  Zoe rapes the comatose rapist, until his head explodes and he dies.
 (pause for effect..)

To me, this particular plot device worked. As far-fetched as it sounds,  within the framework of a shaky storyline founded in patriarchy and rape culture, bla bla bla...  the retribution was justified, and very nearly saved the episode.
It goes without saying that most people including me are against rape, but because this show operates on the level of fairy tales, in its use of metaphor and symbolism, the "reverse-rape" scenario, provided us with a comforting revenge fantasy steeped in fictional-justice. After all, if every rapist was treated to a round of retributive rape,  women might feel safer going out at night, or riding the bus topless. And as a female viewer who felt genuinely threatened during the gratuitously drawn-out gang rape scene, I enjoyed the momentary vindication at the episode's climax  as I'm sure many other women did. Any thoughts?

For more discussions of AHS: Coven, stay tuned for my next episode of "Women and Horror"

No-Photoshop Policy a Win for Women?

By Anči

Maybe she's born with it. (But probably not.)

Like some of you, I was hopeful when I saw the Huffingtonpost piece on Verily Magazine's revolutionary "no photoshop" policy. If anything this was a step in the right direction,  after a generation of insidious image tampering. (Guys, did you seriously think we wouldn't notice that you severed away half of Kim Kardashian's butt? It is kind of her thing.)

So while I'm always cautious of publicity plays like this,  it was encouraging to encounter a company committed to promoting a more accurate depiction of women. According to the article, Verily's particular departure from protocol was a reflection of its co-founders'  belief that:  "the unique features of women... should be celebrated -- not shamed, changed or removed."

Look at all the unique features being represented!

And in a show of transparency,  the magazine deigned to incorporated this belief into their company mission statement, vowing:  "Verily never alters the body or face structure of the Verily models."

Pretty compelling stuff.  Pretty sneaky too.

To be clear, I have no doubt the company's telling the truth-- because the beauty industry never lies. But more importantly,  because it's a winning strategy, at no cost to them.

Confused? Then consider this photo I 'borrowed' from their website: (don't sue me, I have no money.)

"i'm a monster"

That's right. If you're anything like me, you just adjusted your seven-year-old bra-strap before mouthing some version of 'Wait, that's what they were going on about?'

Besides lacking the robotic flawlessness of your average Covergirl, the image doesn't really challenge anything. In fact, its a  pretty accurate representation of western beauty norms, no? : thin, white, young, pretty.  Check, check, check, check.

And if you scroll through the magazine's website, you'll note that even with their token samples of alternate pigmentation ( That's right,  I found a black model!) the company archive of babes remains spectacularly in line with beauty-myth regulations.  Thin, young, pretty.  Rinse, wash and repeat.

 Check it out:

Just another example of how different we are.

So much for the excitement.

Disney can't figure out how to depict lady emotions.

By Anči

I don't know why this story surprised me: Maybe I just wasn't expecting Disney to cop to this type of nonsense, after being called out time and time again for sexism. But it seems like the head animator of the upcoming "Frozen" flick,  Lino Di Salvo,  did in fact, state the following:
"Historically speaking, animating female characters are really, really difficult, cause they have to go through these range of emotions, but they're very, very- you have to keep them pretty and they're very sensitive too-- you can get them off a model very quickly."

Hang on, did everyone catch that? It's really hard to draw expressive lady characters, because you have to keep them pretty tooo??
Um, except isn't that this guy's job? If DiSalvo can't handle something as basic as drawing emotions, maybe he's not the right person for the head animating position? (They could hire a woman instead--  cause a lady might be more familiar with the way women's emotions work, and all.)

Also, I loved the way DiSalvo backs up his charge with the un-ironic use of "historically speaking." (As in, "Historically speaking, animating female characters are really, really difficult.")

Yes sir,  historically speaking, the most powerful corporations in the world have to respect outdated industry standards. Because that's what it says in the bible.  It's not like Disney has the power to change the cultural norms they put in place themselves.

 And it gets better:
Our heroic head animator was also quoted explaining: "So, having a film with two hero female characters was really tough, and having them both in the scene and look very different if they're echoing the same expression."(Huh? Let's give him the benefit of the doubt, and assume he was chewing on a day-old rump steak, while "articulating" this bit)

But see how cleverly DiSalvo maneuvered that excuse in there? "having a film with two hero female characters was really tough" means 'It's a really big deal to doodle more than one cartoon babe at a time... so, it's not our fault we give more screen time to male characters.'

Message received, and subsequently filed, under "bullshit [coma] disney [subheading] lesbians [category] sharkfood

We have a very complicated filing system.

Anyway, the problems with this project don't end there: It seems that the original title of the picture (recently re-christened  "Frozen,") was "The Snow Queen." This might not be so objectionable, if it weren't based on the beloved fairytale by Hans Christian Andersen, and if it weren't the second time Disney pulled a gender-swapping stunt like this. You may recall, they did the same thing with their movie "Rapunzel" which was unceremoniously rebranded "Tangled," before morphing into a story about a bumbling prince. (With the Rapunzel character relegated to mere love interest status.)

That's what happens when you hijack my movie.

Over and over again, female dominated films get served with a manly overhaul, in an industry where girls are already woefully underrepresented. This in turn, makes for a public accustomed to the idea that women aren't interesting, and that they don't deserve to have their stories told.
 
Thoughts?

"Real men vs. underwear models" is a thing of beauty

 Anči

For those of you who thought Body Acceptance only applied to women, here is an awesome new campaign aimed at challenging rigid notions of masculinity!
 Dubbed "Real men vs. underwear models," this project is exactly what it sounds like:

sexy.

is it crazy that i'm actually more attracted to the guy on the left? Absolutely not. The guy on the right looks like he wants to kill me. Also, his hair makes him look stupid. This message is way too long to work as a caption.

What I love about this campaign is that it acknowledges something most men have been reluctant to discuss: That beauty standards are oppressive to dudes too.  And while guys certainly don't experience the same level of bodyshaming, and scrutiny as we do, they still have a male beauty myth to contend with.

This new wave of consciousness-raising might be the reason so many guy friends have opened up to me about battling body image issues:  these complexes have simply become common enough, that overlooking them is no longer an option.  In fact, pretending to be unaffected by beauty standards would at this point, only demonstrate an extraordinary lack of awareness. Not to mention doucheyness.

 The time for faking a relaxed attitude is over, lads. You can sing belch your suffering to the heavens-- or weep into the bosom of your bro. Because some bros have bosoms too.

Happy International Day of the Girl!

Watch this. 
See if you don't cry.