I May Be Dead, But I'm Still Pretty; On Buffy And Growing Up a Babe.

By Anči

Die Patriarchy!

This weekend, my boyfriend and I finished watching the first season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer-- it was his first viewing, and very likely my... 20th? (not really, but suffice to say, I've re-watched the show more than a few times..)
 It only took a few episodes to remind me how clever and profound the series truly is. Almost 20 years after Joss Whedon's feminist opus premiered, it still resonates just as deeply with its viewers. (the same of which, can hardly be said of most shows that old.)
 
Another thing that struck me, is that even after all the Girl Power type shows i've watched since my introduction to Buffy, (from Lost Girl, to Veronica Mars..) none of the sexy slayer's descendants come close to diminishing the luster and power of the original chosen one. Buffy simply stands alone-- a gem, surrounded by copycats and wannabes.

I only discovered Buffy in college, but I genuinely wish I had stumbled upon it during high school, when I was at my loneliest, and least empowered. Seeing a heroine like Buffy, bravely taking on her demons--quite literally--in a suburban high school setting, would have given me someone to relate to. I think I would have felt stronger, seeing an outsider like Buffy represented as such a complex, resolute badass; when I was feeling so weak and impotent.
What makes Buffy so unique, compared to all her TV peers like say, Bo from "Lost Girl" is that she has a dynamic inner life,  not to mention a complicated set of motivations that go far beyond the standard  hot-girl-seeks-hot-guy. She has integrity and character, and is a fiercely loyal friend to her band of equally well-developed sidekicks: Xander, Willow, and Giles. (all of whom are deserving of  an analyses of their own, but maybe i'll get to them in a future post...)

Throughout the series our plucky protagonist gets dumped and played by jerky (and occasionally demonic) boyfriends, but never lets the ensuing heartbreak get in the way of her most pressing gig-- that of being the Slayer.  (Unlike her inferior counterpart Bella from those ridiculous twilight movies, who if memory serves me correctly, tried to drown herself when the sparkly guy went away.) More importantly, Buffy never takes shit from men in her life-- even and especially when she happens to be in love with them.
Even and especially if it means ending up alone. (Whereas Carrie Bradshaw always found her way back to shitty, abusive Big, and my beloved Veronica Mars always found her way back to shitty abusive Logan. And no, don't say he loves her. He's still shitty.)

 I wish I had internalized Buffy's brand of conviction throughout my own tumultuous teenage years... but sadly, I was of the variety of girl who would fall apart at every rejection--romantic, or social. And the idea that someone like me could not only overcome obstacles like betrayal, and abandonment, but also continue 'slaying' her own forces of darkness despite such adversity, just didn't occur to me.
It wasn't that Buffy didn't suffer heartbreaks just like any other person. On the contrary, she was pretty prone to falling into deep depressions-- most unnervingly, after hooking up with one cute college boy, only to be brushed off and discarded immediately thereafter. Of course it's understandable that such a brutal sendoff would leave our slayer feeling hurt and confused; even plunging her into a temporary spiral of anxiety and self-doubt. But the key here was, that at no point did this crisis disorient or displace Buffy's deeply held convictions about her purpose on earth....which is kinda the whole point of "not taking shit" from someone, and which is a distinction I couldn't wrap my head around at that age. I simply didn't understand that while depression wasn't necessarily a sign of weakness, (but rather a healthy, normal reaction to crushing disappointment,) losing oneself as a result, was.
 As far as I was concerned, I would never escape the black hole of my adolescent angst, because I didn't appreciate that there were still fights to be had. Fights and struggles, that were actually worthy of my time and attention; setbacks and obstacles that would shape me into a stronger more compassionate, competent woman. And what all of that comprehension boils down to, is having a sense of self-- which Buffy undeniably did.



But now for a few stray observations on the very last episode of season 1 (which is currently freshest in my mind:) Trust me guys, this is sexy stuff!
So here we see a beautiful Buffy dressed in a white prom dress (a deliberate choice of color) getting ready for her final confrontation with The Master. (A deliberate choice of moniker.)  Awesomely enough, this Master, AKA the leader of the Vampires, is meant to be an obvious metaphor for The Patriarchy. He is the ultimate oppressive force in Buffy's life, and as such, suffers from the same delusions of grandeur harbored by most patriarchs of his creepy ilk.
 In this case, the master unwisely bets on the the slayer's demise, once he "impresses" upon her several (unimpressive) inches of pointy yellow teeth.  Surely, it's a violation  no woman could recover from, he reasons. [it even says so in his holy book!] But like most women who have been penetrated against their will, Buffy doesn't stay down for long. With the help of two of her friends, she gets up;  her billowy white dress filthy from the fight... (so much symbolism, guyssss!)

and by the end of the episode she has tracked down and slayed her vampire, in an epic moment of reverse-penetration. (Who needs penis envy when we have stakes?)

the problem with "Scandal" (as told by a "Girls" fan)

 By Anči

As some of you know, the two most highly contested “feminist” TV shows, at least according to social-media savvy female viewers are “Girls” and “Scandal.” And although they're not remotely similar in theme, tone, or quality, both shows seems to inspire a similar brand of loyalty. (To the point that you’re either Team Olivia or Team Hannah.)

So as a longtime (okay, four month) supporter of Team Hannah,  I decided to check out the rival team’s goods, via Netflix. And so began my two week long affair with Shonda Rhimes’ ethnically diverse political soap opera drama....

Anyway i'll start with the obvious: which is that the most rewarding aspect of an investment in this  roller coaster is getting to stare at the most gorgeous face in the world. Yep it's true: Kerry Washington makes everyone from your girlfriend to Angelina Jolie look like an aging baby in a wig.

is your self-esteem suffering yet? because it should be.

True, she may overact in just about any scene requiring a "grownup" display of emotion:

but she's also given us some of the greatest lines ever:

okay, so she may have backtracked on that position as early as... one episode later, but it was still a memorable moment in TV-feminism

Then there's the extremely annoying matter of writing. What can I say about the dialogue, except that its delivered almost-exclusively in the form of long, eloquent speeches-- the likes of which, even the most brilliantly verbal of English professors couldn't wing--particularly in the midst of an emotionally charged argument.

Consider the following classically off-the-cuff remark made by Olivia. (It's almost as though every character on this show is equipped with their own speech writer:)

 “You have nothing. You have a pile of secrets and lies, and you're calling it love. And in the meantime you're letting your whole life pass you by while they raise children and celebrate anniversaries and grow old together. You're frozen in time. You're holding your breath. You're a statue waiting for something that's never going to happen. Living for stolen moments in hotel hallways and coat closets and you keep telling yourself they all add up to something real because in your mind they have to but they don't. They won't. They never will. Because stolen moments aren't a life. So you have nothing. You have no one. End it now.”

 Seriously, who speaks that well, or for that long without ever backtracking, or getting confused? 

Someone aced the verbal component of  the SATs

Oh yeah, then there is the matter of the deeply abusive, central romance of the series--  (not entirely unlike a number of the dysfunctional duos on Girls, but we'll get to that later.) I am of course speaking of  Olivia Pope, and the President of the United States-- whose long glances, and passionate embraces do little to downplay their violent screaming matches, or his rough rapey handling of her body. (you know, the classic signs of an "Epic Love")
After all, who can forget that beautiful moment, after an angry President corners Olivia into a closet and  forcefully screws her from behind, (despite her visible anguish)... only to zip up his pants, and  sneer: "I may not be able to control my erections around you, but that doesn't mean I want you. We're done." (Remember kids, verbal abuse is acceptable as long as he still loves her on the inside.)

Unfortunately, the show-runners, do little to stress the sick nature of this relationship, while deliberately playing up the romantic angle of two lovers forcefully pulled apart...bla bla bla...So sad, I know.

Then there's the President's whole sad-sack schtick, wherein he tediously insists on guilting the so-called "love-of-his life" for refusing to play grateful-little-side-chick, to his family man routine.

Actually, I hate you for being a gas-lighting, abusive, little bitch with a giant whiteboy chip on his shoulder.

Throughout all of this, Olivia doesn't come off much better- Sure we're eventually provided with some hastily compiled back story about her mysteriously sadistic father... which kinda puts into perspective Miss Pope's  un-gladiatorlike commitment to her controlling commander in chief.... But it still doesn't explain why such a brilliant, beautiful, and highly-in-demand babe would continue to compromise herself for an unavailable guy, year after year. (And don't say it's for dramatic effect. Good drama needs to be compelling and believable. )

I'm not saying TV shouldn't portray intimate partner abuse, or explore what it does to bright, complex women. For example, the first two seasons of Girls did a good job of depicting that dynamic between Hannah and Adam. The difference there was, that the abuse was consistent with the rest of the established character development: Hannah demonstrated low self esteem in every aspect of her life, while Adam was clearly shown to be out of his mind, bonkers. Most importantly, Girls didn't exploit the episodes of mistreatment, as a means of milking an inevitable romantic buildup. If anything, the show was deliberately invested in making its viewers cringe at the unhealthy pairing of Hannah and Adam. (until season three, when Adam finally demonstrates some emotional growth.)

I don't want to suggest that Shonda Rhimes should take a hint from Lena Dunham, because.... that would be offensive. But maybe a more honest committment to character development and storytelling is in order? (and for the love of gods, kill off Huck and Quinn.)

wastes of space

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A feminist viewing of "The Witches of East End"

The Attractive White Women of East End

By Anči


After reviewing American Horror story: Coven,  I decided to check out the other formidable sisterhood on television: Introducing Witches of East End, a deliciously soapy substitute for the 90's witch-drama "Charmed" (and the subject of the second edition of our Women and Horror series. Woohoo!) 

sigh: the original three

Unlike its 90s predecessor, East end doesn't center around three hot sisters---but rather around a hot mother, and her two hot daughters, and their even hotter aunt. (Played by Twin Peaks' Madchen Amick, who at 42, looks like this:)

it's shelly!

For all its 'charmed' trappings, this "Lifetime" series makes for fun, mindless viewing...if you discount some of the blatant sexism: as exemplified by one of the first lines in the pilot, uttered by elder sister Ingrid, to her much hotter younger sister Freya: "You only have one super power, and it's your breasts."   (See? It's funny, 'cause it's NOT true.  Cause... She's a witch. They both are. That's the show!)

The good news is that the series premise is still pretty intriguing.  Like I said, we have three women: mother Joanna and her daughters hot Freya and lame Ingrid who are all witches-- but neither hot Freya nor lame Ingrid know it until their sassy spell casting aunt Wendy comes to town.

Standard stuff right? except there's a twist: It seems the family matriarch Joanna, (last seen blowing John Slattery on Mad Men,)  has been cursed with the 'gift' of "endless motherhood." meaning she's had to birth and bury the same two daughters, Ingrid and Freya for the last few centuries--all the while remaining immortal herself.
Determined not to lose her daughters  to witchcraft again, she decides that this time around she won't teach them about their magical abilities....opting to raise them as muggles, instead.  Hilarity ensues when a fully-grown Freya causes shit to blow up with only her thoughts... prompting the question "Am I magic?"
(Yes Freya, you are! And not just because of your rack!)

" Mommy, how come Freya gets to be the hot sister?"

While the setup's neither revolutionary nor  sophisticated,  I do find Mama Joanna's particular curse to be interesting. Or as the eternal child-bearer puts it: "Do you know how many times I gave birth before they invented the epidural? Or soap?"Yikes!

"If only I had magic powers to make the labor pains stop!"

Oh yeah, and there's also a love triangle, centered around hot Freya.  All you really need to know about that is that the masculine parties are brothers, and that their names are Dash (ugh) and Killian. The rest can be summed up  by the phrase,  "brooding hot people," oh and this picture:

"Which emaciated ken doll do I pick?"

Like every supernatural show on television, Witches employs a number of problematic tropes-- which I am eager to talk about right now:

For one thing, I have to call out the writers, for sticking in a random mystical pregnancy in episode one (really?  You couldn't save that card for season three?) Yes, they literally introduced a character, for the sole purpose of magically knocking her up... and like, nothing else. (Oh and, that character also happens to be black, which historically doesn't bode well for the onscreen gestator. [See: any other SFF show])
While I remain skeptical of the showrunner's intentions here, a part of me is curious to see how this contrived "procreation" of events gets justified in later episodes.  As the brilliant feminist critic Anita Sarkeesian  points out: “It’s common practice for Hollywood writers to have their female characters become pregnant at some point in their TV series. These story lines are almost always built around women who have their ovaries harvested by aliens or serve as human incubators for demon spawn – basically the characters are reduced to their biological functions.”

My uterus is a beacon

We've seen this trend over and over again, from shows like Charmed, to American Horror Story to Angel, to Battlestar Galactica, to Doctor Who and Torchwood. So honestly, i'm not holding out for a twist on the old formula.
(And as of this moment, my money is on a future demon-spawn reveal.)


The second thing I want to scold the writers about, is their blatant use of "dead black guy"
That's right: As expected the first character with actual lines to die, ends up being the only black guy on the entire show.  The kicker? His death was the direct result of Ingrid's passion for him. (who saw that coming?)
And with that,  we're served yet again with a cheap version of the sexist succubus trope. You know, the one that ties female love/sexuality to the demise of an innocent man? 

 And the last thing I want to confront the show about,  is its endless conflation of love with drama. It's clear that as an audience we're supposed to be pulled apart by the Freya-Dash-Killian love triangle.  As per any dysfunctional epic, both brothers are desperately in love with the same woman... which is super romantic. Except for the part where both brothers are also incredible jerks. (Something the show never acknowledges.) For one thing, Freya's fiance, Dash repeatedly hides things from her-- from the fact that he even has a brother, to the fact that he's been engaged before, to his ex-fiance's mysterious suicide. I don't know about you, but if the man I was slated to marry turned out to have a bunch of secrets like that, I'd feel pretty betrayed and manipulated.
But no, hot Freya appears to be little more than annoyed at the string of shocking revelations that accompany her betrothal. Then there's Killian who is blatantly hitting on his brother's soon-to-be wife. Romantic? No.That's like, the ultimate dick-move.   (And the fact that Freya keeps flirting with Killian while engaged to his brother is just... gross.)

Hey girl, don't tell my brother I wanna bone you.

I'm the dumb fiancee who either can't read the chemistry between my bro and my ho, or... more likely, is in the closet.  I'll let my spray tan do the deciding.

Thoughts?