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| besties! |
I treat my male friends the same way I treat my female friends. There, I said it,
It used to be on principle, but by now it's become a habit. (That's right, i have some good habits!) As you can imagine this causes quite a bit of confusion (at least initially) -- on the part of some guys, who occasionally misinterpret my warm attitude, and willingness to accommodate, as romantic interest.
But despite the tension this dynamic can create, I refuse to give it up. For the simple reason that a shared set of standards is the only way to ensure an equal, healthy relationship. (i'm not interested in any other kind. Are you?)
Another reason is that I just got tired of toning down my personality, and censoring my 'antics' in order to contain some undeserving bro's potentially aggressive behavior. That's not my job. And frankly, I wouldn't want to be friends with someone so unstable, that any expression of care could send him into sexual frenzy.
Guys, you need to grow up. Luckily you have me to make that easier for you:
So if you are my buddy, here is a list of ten things you should expect from me: (Yes, it's really that simple.)
1) You can expect my eyes to light up around you-- Nope this isn't a joke. If I have chosen to call you my friend, it means I am genuinely interested in you. It means I enjoy your company. It means I like you.
2)You can expect me to be frank with you. I will not play games with you, stroke your ego, stroke your arm, or giggle at your lame jokes. (unless i'm in a genuine giggling mood.) And when I'm truly impressed by something you've accomplished, I will not hold back on my gushing. Just remember that I'd gush just as ardently at a female friend's successes. (because that's what a supportive friend does.)
which brings me to....
3) I will be supportive and I will always root for your success. Conversely, I will make time to listen and cheer you up, whenever you're disappointed, upset, or unhappy.
4) I will not indulge your male privilege. I will not listen sympathetically when you call your ex-girlfriend a bitch. Nor will I support/facilitate any of your endeavors to "get some." I should also add that I will not act as your "lady wingman", and that I will not be complicit in the manipulation of other women for your personal gratification. This doesn't make me disloyal, it just makes me a feminist.
5) I will invite you to spend time with me, socially.
6) I will not let you manipulate or neg me. Guys, if you touch me in any way that's not friendly, press your leg closely to mine, or linger breathlessly near me, I will call you out. Loudly, and in front of your friends, parents, co-workers. You have been warned.
7) I will always treat your girlfriends well.
8) If some aspect of my behavior is upsetting to you, you should confront me about it. I will apologize, and stop doing it.
9) I will make you laugh. A lot. It's one of my charms.
10) I won't pick you up from the airport. But only because I'm afraid of highways.
Questions?
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