Those of you that follow my blog, may have come across my last post entitled Cool Girls Are The Worst: A Grievance, wherein I basically took self-serving, disingenuous women to task for throwing their own gender under the bus, in order to score Patriarchal Brownie Bites. (which by the way, aren't even technically brownies! I would know, because I spent my happiest hours in elementary school funneling my milk money into the faculty bake sales. What? I was going to lose those teeth anyway, mom.)
The point is, in my post I was harsh towards a group of gals I consider to be shitty to their kind, even if I don't necessarily occupy the firmest platform regarding that issue, myself. Cause here's the thing, I don't get along with very many women either.
Actually let me rephrase that: I don't get along with very many people-- which also includes an appropriately proportionate handful of ladies. But being introverted and socially awkward, can often act like an emotional roadblock... before inevitably devolving into a bad track record with women all together. And couldn't someone misinterpret that as a symptom of my own mistrust of the fairer sex? Well no, as women make up the core demographic of folks I am most interested in connecting with-- making it more likely for me to try (and fail) at fostering friendships with them.. hence my claim that I don't get along with very many women.
In fact, for the majority of my life, I didn't have any close female friends-- I mean sure, I had girl friends I cared for, and who mattered to me, but not ones I saw every day at school, or got the opportunity to share my life with in any significant way. In fact, most of them resided on another continent.
But maybe I was also basing my criteria for successful female buddyhood on like, The BabySitters Club --which let's be honest, featured a heartfelt group dynamic no one could ever recreate. Except maybe with like, a tight-knit lesbian bookclub. (Whiiiich one could even argue, may have been a component of Mary Ann and Kristy's series-strong bond, eh? eh? Come on guys, one of them was literally on a softball team. But I gleefully digress....)
Anyway, it wasn't until very recently-- like, less than a year ago-- that I finally started to cultivate more serious friendships with other girls. And it makes me wish I had more deliberately pursued that type of alliance starting from my elementary school days. Because as it turns out, Badass Bitches are the bestest category of buddy to surround yourself with. It's true, I don't get to hang out with my lady bros (heh!) very often, but thanks to Social Media (which for an introvert is a godsend) I've begun establishing trusting, supportive bonds with some extraordinary broads.
Even if most of our interaction takes place online, the solidarity we've created, coupled with some truly delightful moments of indulgent gossipy bitchiness-- not to mention the gratifying thrill that necessarily accompanies a free exchange of ideas with other like-minded individuals, all leads me to continue seeking out, and establishing community with other women.
And it's why, maybe i'm also so harsh with ladies who outright dismiss the notion of female friendships, as being not remotely beneficial to their growth and development. I know a lot of that comes from Patriarchal hangups about competition and catfights, but my thinking is if you've spent any time forging solidarity with another chick, you can't help but realize what a load of crap the idea of girlfighting is.
thoughts?
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