"Calling gender violence a women's issue is part of the problem, for a number of reasons. This is one of the ways that dominant systems maintain and reproduce themselves . . . the dominant group is rarely challenged even to think about its dominance." --Jackson Katz
Ana Casian Lakos made a good point in her comment on this post about Mexico city's government hiring a female-only force of traffic police. She stated, "of course, we should ask ourselves, 'why is dominance so linked with manhood? Why do we teach men aggression instead of empathy? It's because of these social norms that men end up being more violent than women."
I agree, and her comment reminded me of this TED Talk in which Jackson Katz argues that we need to change the way we speak and think about gender violence. The talk had me flushed and teary-eyed and "heeeells yeah"-ing the first time I watched it. And maybe the second time, too . . .
It mystifies me that we continue to discuss gender violence as something that happens to the victim, not something that an attacker does--as if the victim has had a bad run in with a random force of nature, instead of being assaulted by a conscious human being. Placing the pressure on women to avoid being assaulted also plays a part in women blaming themselves for their attacker's violence, and internalizing their shame, which contributes to a low rate of women reporting that they've been attacked.
It also frustrates me when people analyze an assaulted woman's clothing as a factor in her attack--not only because it's blaming the victim, but because it's insulting to men in general. It implies that men are rage-and-lust-filled animals with no self-control--that if they so much as see a woman's skin they'll lose all rationality. And if we continue to perpetuate this "boys will be boys" attitude how many men will internalize that their actions are not their fault?
My boyfriend recently said that if he had kids he would want to have a girl, so he could raise her to be a feminist. That made my heart pretty happy, but I replied, "I dunno, I think I might like to have a boy--so I could raise him to be a feminist."
"It also frustrates me when people analyze an assaulted woman's clothing as a factor in her attack--not only because it's blaming the victim, but because it's insulting to men in general. It implies that men are rage-and-lust-filled animals with no self-control--that if they so much as see a woman's skin they'll lose all rationality. "
ReplyDeleteTHIS. It always baffled me why men aren't more insulted by rape culture. Do you guys not see how you are being characterized as monsters??